OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
