Need sex. Gaining weight.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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