yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
