i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
