its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
