Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
