I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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