similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
