Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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