Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
