I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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