HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
