I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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