When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
