I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
