official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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