She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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