You're earring is so big in my mouth
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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