By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
