Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
