He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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