i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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