So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
