friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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