Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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