hell yes lets make some ravioli
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
