if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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