How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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