Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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