Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
