Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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