i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
