Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
