nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
