Got a toothbrush?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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