I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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