You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
