who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
