when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
