I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
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