glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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