The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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