I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
