Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
