I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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