last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
