i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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