kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
