She announced her abortion via fbk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize