If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just pee around me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
