Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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