she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
