You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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