We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
