my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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