Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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