I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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