you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
