honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
