Whatcha textin bout Willis?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
