who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why didn't you poke me back
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
