am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
