i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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