It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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