Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
